Thursday, October 1, 2009

I think I am

So, I think that I am overwhelmed. You would think that it would be simple to diagnose, but I'm not so sure. I have a feeling that I'm not the usual "case."

Let me explain. I thrive on being busy. I love being on the go with places to be and people to see. I don't like being inactive, but lately, I am the epitome of inactivity.

I have a million different things that I could, nope, should! be doing right now. Things that really need to be done right now, and even some that should have been done yesterday. I should be freaking out, but am I?


I am calm, cool and collected, sitting here comfortably on my couch and blogging my life away. But, its like I can feel, rather vaguely, but its there, this feeling of raw panic far beneath my cool exterior. I don't think I am suppressing anything, but how am I not breaking out from stress and fretting over there being too few hours in the day?

Have I cracked?

Dear God, I hope not.

But, its almost like I am negatively responding to this situation. My behavior is inside out. Am I reverting?

I have no idea.

All I do know is that someone needs to light a fire under me and quick! I'm practically moving backwards here!

I think though that I can prescribe myself a few antidotes for this poison of inactivity. Self-prescription must be good for something.

1. I need a schedule. Duh. No wonder college was so easy. With only a few clicks of a mouse, my days were numbered and planned. All the leftover time was easily divided between work and play, maybe not equally but very easily.

2. I need an office. I need to have a reason to get out of bed everyday at 7am and not sit on the couch for 2 hours watching the Today Show, working and sending millions of emails during the commercial breaks or the segments I don't like.

3. I need 3 fewer jobs. Right now, I'm juggling 4 and am about to add a fifth. My fault, I know, but money is tight and beggars can't be choosers, literally. I think the Starbucks at 5 Points is about to become my office. It has gotten to that point.

Well, I guess the one thing to be happy about is that I seem to have left my stressed-out freak-outs in Charleston, where they belong. So long, college.

Is THIS really what the Real World is all about? Give me a 9-5 office any day, please!

Now, all that's left to do is send emails to all of the vendors, guests and committee members for Columbia's Longest Days, fill out the PIF for 1601 Main Street, babysit the Big Apple tonight from 5:30 to 11, wash dishes, scan all of the newspaper adds and compile them digitally, edit the summary for the PIF, begin research on 1631 Main Street, build a website for Columbia's Longest Days, change the sheets, add pictures to the Lourie's brief, begin on the other briefs, etc.......

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