Monday, March 8, 2010

Never again.

I make it a point to never discuss politics outside the comfort of my own home. And, usually, I am very good at keeping to that point. Politics are a sensitive issue on which everyone has an opinion. While I respect this little known fact about politics, it is the reason that I do not discuss it and why I keep my politicking to myself. You see, no one ever did have a friendly discussion about politics.

And, I say that if you can't talk about a thing maturely and without name-calling, then you don't need to talk about it at all.

Well, I made a mistake a few days ago when I commented on a post about feminism and one woman's view of equality of the sexes. You see, I am not a feminist and neither was the author. She made a few great, valid points, and I agreed with her for the most part. I always enjoy her posts and have just recently begun commenting on them, so I decided that I would leave a cute little response about my views of equality.

I said something along the lines of

I believe that man and woman were created equal. You cannot have one without the other. It takes two, baby.

I thought it was quite cheeky and appropriate, so I clicked "comment." Well, something happened and blogger said that it could not post my comment, so I had to try again. It took me back to the top of the comments, and as I was on my way to click "comment," another's comment caught my eye. I do not read other peoples' comments on other peoples' post. Its not that I am not interested or don't care, I just feel that they aren't meant for me and I honestly lack the time and the patience to sit still long enough to read any number of them.

But, unfortunately, a few of these comments caught my eye. I read a few, skipping over some, until I had my fill. I posted my original comment and went along my way. I tried to forget the comments and the blatant "ME!ME!ME!" that had screamed at me from a few certain entries, posted by well-to-do ladies, who surely had never known the feeling of utter despair when any and all options were no better than death itself.

I just couldn't help but think,

Who are we to complain about the unjustness of our world in middle class America? What is a lesser salary to the option of pain and death that many others face on a daily basis?

I confess that I did not really take a worldview of this point of discussion. With the original post's substance of feminism and inequality of the sexes, my mind and opinions were firmly rooted in the soil of this country that we call the land of the free. You see, the term feminism was an American invention from the 20th century.

I thought about these women, complaining loudly in cyberspace about fairness and equal rights and wondered how many of them had actually fought for a single thing in their entire lives. And, I must say, it infuriated me.

And, this is why:

American women have more choices than I think we could ever fully grasp in one lifetime. So, for these women to cry out, asking where was their right to choose. Well, I just couldn't stand it. That is the beauty of democracy. There is always a choice, and chances are that death is never one of them.

So, I commented, focusing on selfish American women (of which I am one; I cannot deny it). I have since deleted my comment. I deleted it for one obvious reason, if any of you, my faithful readers, have come across the comments on my previous post. I am truly sorry if I offended anyone, but I acted without thinking (alas, a fault that has gotten me into trouble more than once) and posted a comment that I had no idea would illicit any response, let alone anger, at all.

You see, I think arguing on a blog is just plain silliness. It is why I commented blindly without directing my comment at any other comment in particular. Apparently, my comment fell right smack dab in the middle of a discussion about oppressed women in other parts of the world and the inequality of it all. And, my comment, my angry flash of brilliance against the egotistical women out there, who whine about how unfair the world is to them (give me a break!), unleashed a fury of comments against my character, assuming my heartlessness and disdain for oppressed women around the world.


I thought, when I saw the first comment on my innocent post about selling a car and the trials of a one-car-family, quickly followed by the second.


You see, I posted my comment on the post and never looked back. I wasn't looking for a response and honestly did not think that someone would waste their time responding to it. I wasn't about to pick a cyber fight with anyone, especially over a blog post. I mean really, how old are we here? So, I was completely unaware of the angry women out there, ready to call me heartless and ignorant.

Totally unaware of them, until they invaded my blog and left outrageous accusations against my character.

And now, I am responding to these comments on a whole, because it is not worth arguing through comments and exposing my readers to the pettiness of political debate about women, whose positions we could never truly understand.

Sure, we can feel for them, cry for them, fight for them and rally for them, but can or could we ever really relate to them?

I chose to leave the comments below my previous post, because I can take it just as well as I can dish it. I did not call these women names or accuse them of anything at all, but they felt the need to respond to me in such a way. Because of these accusations, I responded once with an explanation of my outburst, which you will find in my comments.

But, let's not embarrass ourselves anymore. I will not allow any further comments from these two women on the subject.

And, I do have a heart--a pretty big one actually.


  1. Very thought-provoking post, Bri!

    I certainly consider myself a feminist, and while I do think that women in the US have so many rights that I'm so grateful to have considering many of our forebearers/counterparts around the world don't have the same rights, I don't necessarily feel like we're viewed as equal, or that our experience in the US is the very best it could possibly be. (Like crimes committed against women being way higher than crimes committed against men ... etc.) But on the other hand, your post really made me think about where my/other feminists' energy is directed, because, you're right, while I don't think things are necessarily perfect here, they REALLY aren't perfect in other parts of the world where women are brutalized and abused and have no freedom or rights whatsoever. And it does seem like it would be an overall benefit to the world at large to direct more energy toward righting those much greater wrongs.

    Thanks for making me think! :) And that's a bummer things got kind of heated with the other commenters--sorry about that! I agree, it's really tough to have a civil discussion about politics.

    but I think you bring up some interesting points.

  2. Oh man! That sucks! I've definitely seen blog posts that made me angry, and made me want to comment... But I've so far been able to walk away. Because I see how easily things can get misinterpreted or taken out of context and then everything blows up. Sorry you had such a bad experience!