Wednesday, March 3, 2010

A Disappointment.

Last night, I received an email that I was dreading. I knew that I was taking a big chance--that I was probably getting my hopes up--that this economy is just not a post-grad's friend at this moment. But, I secretly believed that I would never get that email. I thought I had it in the bag.

I guess that I should tell you what I am talking about. I hope that I don't regret spilling the beans. I don't see why I would. So, here goes.

In early December, I was browsing the websites of local institutions in Lewisburg, WV. I came across the Greenbrier Historical Society's website and their director's email address.

I thought, I should send her an email--just to mention some of my experience and give her a heads-up that I will soon be a resident of the town. I should totally let her in on my little obsession with history and the lengths that I am willing to go to preserve it.

So, I sent her (the director) an email. I told her about college and my degrees. I told her what I have been doing for Historic Columbia for the past couple of months. I told her that I was in love with buildings.

I didn't expect a response, honestly. I realize how busy these non-profits can be and that in these hard times, they are usually very understaffed.

But, I thought, Why not?

To my utter shock and amazement, two minutes later, there was a response in my inbox.

The first line of her email, "YOU ARE A GOD SEND!!!"

Success! I thought. I've done it! I'm going to have a job and it will be doing something that I love. I'm a rockstar.

I called Will. I forwarded the email to my parents. I couldn't believe the blessings in this opportunity.

And, like I said, I thought that I had it in the bag.

So, I immediately updated my resume. I asked my boss at HCF to write a recommendation letter. I sent them both to her with a lengthy cover letter. She said that she would have to talk to the Board and see if there was room in the budget for another employee. At the moment, she was the only one. And, she needed help.

And, I wanted to give it.

Like I said, I thought that I had it in the bag.

Well, Saturday night, I decided that I could wait no longer to hear a response. I emailed her and asked if the Board had had a chance to review my resume and discuss the possibility of another employee.

They had, she said. And, unfortunately, the economy had finally caught up with them and there would not be a position available this year.


Back to square one.

Where to begin?

What am I going to do?

I have to do something.

Will will be in school. I will have to feed us. I will have to keep us warm.

What else could there be in that tiny valley town that I could do?

I guess that I could work at the Greenbrier Resort. There are plenty of server, front desk and bar tending positions. But, I don't want to do any of those things.

I want to do what I love. I want to be an asset. I want to be involved. I want to continue in my education and gain even more experience in the field that I have made my life's mission.

So, back to square one.

But, first of all, I have to explain how incredibly awesome the director has been. She has offered so much advice. She has kept in touch with me throughout this whole process. She will be giving Will and I a tour of Lewisburg. I honestly cannot wait to meet her and spend time with her when we visit. I hope that whatever job I do secure will allow me the opportunity to help out at the society in any way that I can.

I am crushed, but I am not bitter.

I have grown accustomed to the ravages of the economy. Don't forget that I basically work for free at HCF. I wish that I could work for free in Lewisburg, but I will be the sole income then and it just isn't possible.

So, what to do now?

Well, the rejection has lit a fire under me.

Last night, I updated my resume and plan to have it completed by the end of the week, so that I can send it and my boss's letter to any and every business in Lewisburg, who might even remotely need my expertise (which isn't much). I need to be doing something to expand my horizons.

And, I just don't see waiting tables as that expander.

Send prayers and positive thoughts my way.

I'm going for the gold.


  1. I'm sorry for your disappointment. And, I know you must be feeling overwhelmed and scared. I am sure you will find the right thing for you, even if it is something that isn't in your life plan.
    You are a talented young lady and good things will come your way.

    All that really matters, in the long run, is that you and Will are together on your path.

  2. oh, and this is from Judi, not Steven. But, I'm guessing you figured that? :-) I guess this computer is signed in under his login.

    I made him look compassionate for a second, eh? :-)

  3. haha. i started reading the post, preparing for the worst, and was shocked. thanks judi for the encouragement!

  4. Aw, I'm sorry about that. That is really disappointing, and it did sound like you were going to be so perfect for the job. Here's hoping for something even better!