I wonder

why it is that as soon as I get the MilkMonster* down for his nap, and have settled myself comfortably on the couch, and have just started the DVRed episode of Project Runway, and just filled myself a cold glass of water and gulped down about half of it that I all of a sudden without warning and without fail have to pee so excruciatingly bad.

I mean like I-better-not-turn-my-head-too-fast-or-I-might-leak-or-explode-bad.

Come to think of it, it could have something to do with the huge cup of coffee I just consumed and the half glass of water that I couldn't gulp down fast enough.

Lucky for me, the bathroom is of course conveniently located down the creaky hallway, past MM's bedroom, with the door closed and the air isn't on to drown out my cautious and soft footfalls. And, I just know that MM is subconsciously waiting for any distraction to wake him up from his deep slumber. Because, let me tell you one thing, that kid does not like to sleep. And then, once I have trekked the creaky hallway and made it safely to the bathroom's threshold and silently opened the door and closed it behind me with no sound of stirrings or shrieks of

"I'M AWAKE AUNT BEEZEY!! SLEEP IS NO MATCH FOR ME!"

coming from MM's room, I finally make it to the wonderful, beautiful, oh how I love thee, toilet!

Unfortunately that full-of-relief, you are my savior toilet now possesses a baby-proofed contraption, or as I affectionately call it, the babysitter booby trap. This thing takes 3 hands to successfully open without the faintest clicks and ticks, and unfortunately I only have 2.

But, after I do get it open, all the while holding my breath and praying that the air would turn on and muffle my toilet attempts, I am able to sit down and RELIEF. Nothing really matters much at that point.

And, afterwards, 20 pounds lighter and loads happier, I wash my hands under a trickle of water that takes 10 times as long to get the soap off, but MM is way too close for a full blast hand-washing.

And, I don't flush. No sirree. After all of those precautions, you better believe that lid stays up and that toilet unflushed until MM wakes up.

I wonder how I can train my bladder to contain the gallons of liquid within until a more suitable time to dispose of it. Sometimes, being a woman is so inconvenient. Hubs can go all day without visiting the loo, but me. I don't think so one bit at all, no way. Don't they medicate for that sort of thing?



*Milk Monster is my nephew Griffin. This kid can guzzle some milk. 6 bottles a day and he will be 1 in 2 weeks. Just this morning, upon the final suck of his 6 oz bottle and my immediate removal of the nipple from his starving lips, he grunted, sat straight up and demanded in all his baby glory that he would have some more. Pronto. Thus the new name from here on out.

If my life were a movie scene...

it would be this scene from 500 Days of Summer, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt would be Cameron Diaz (as me, because this is my movie and I get to choose!) and I would be dancing because I just got a job, or won a bunch of money or successfully cooked risotto.  

House Wares and Wants

There are many things in life that I cannot wait to do. Decorating my very own house is one of them. 

Let's explore my design philosophy through a display of all things home-related that Google proudly displayed at just one click of the "search" button.

Let's begin with reality.

 

I purchased this table yesterday on a shopping trip with TuTu, Mare and G (from here on known as "Milk Monster"). I originally fell in love with this table over Christmas, when I literally stumbled upon it at Pier1, where it cost a whopping $50. I got it for $24.99. I couldn't be happier about it and the hopes that we will one day very soon have a place big enough that it can be seen and not have to be stuck between the couch and the wall.

Now, for all those hopes and dreams:

You chair would look fabulous next to my knit upholstered couch, resting atop our 25+ year old Oriental rug (inherited from Mom and Dad). When will you come home to me? 

Take your time though. Our couch barely fits in our apartment now.

Hello, lover otherwise known as a porcelain farmhouse sink and the butter to my bread. One day, we shall be together for the rest of our lives.

 

You, my friend, are fabulous. You would look good just about anywhere. 

There are no words to describe my complete infatuation with this kitchen. Ssshhhh.... No talkie.

You would look wonderful at the end of my bed, in like a year, when there is more than a foot of space there. Till then.

Now, that is how you treat a window, because we all know how much of a good time those windows can have.

**Warning** This is not a style blog. This is just a post about home style and decor within the confines of a blog about the marriage of two crazy kids, who are set to endure the freezing temperatures and weak cell phone signal of the Allegheny mountains in WV. Medical School to commence in 180 days and counting down. 179, 178, 177, 176....

******ALSO TO COME: Hear how my Hunter Boots dream came true! And how I am now completely and utterly proud to be painted RED.

What I Want

Since I probably won't be able to buy or achieve many of the things that I want until 2015, when Will and i will finally have some excess cash (maybe?) and some free time (perhaps?), I am going to blog about them.

And then, I will drool.

Here is what I want:

 

A cameo ring. Something that I have ALWAYS wanted, but have yet to afford.

A collared necklace, because its totally chic, but funky. I want one. Bad. Come to think of it, I could probably make it quite easily. I might just have to try.

In my dreams, I look just like this.

I need some chunky heels. These would do just fine.

 I love, love, love, love these boots. They're Hunters. West Virginia called and said that they were a must.

Our couch is in desperate need of a new slipcover. How awesome would a knit slipcover be??? So warm and cozy and comfy, especially on freezing cold and snowy WV nights.

This picture makes me short of breath. Want. Need. Gotta have. Every head chef needs Le Creuset cookware.

I love my Longchamp backpack. It epitomizes shoulder freedom. After 2.5 years, mine is looking a little rough. I think its time for a replacement.

Umm.... yes, please? My laptop is on its ninth life as we speak. It might not make it through the night. I would love a laptop that didn't weigh 8 lbs that I could take with me anywhere. A Macbook would be perfection.

I'm so sick of my TJMAXX specials. I need some serious sunglasses. These would do just fine.

I am currently the very proud owner of two shirt dresses. I could always use another. You can never have to many. They are way too versatile.

Annoyed

I am really, really annoyed this morning.

1) I woke up circa-4:30am with a splitting, throbbing head ache. Hot spots: under my eyes, above my eye, over my ears, SINUSES. No matter how I positioned my head on the pillow, my head just ached and ached. The kicker: I was too exhausted to get up and do anything about it. And, Hubs? Well, he felt terrible all night and even worse this morning. So, I didn't have the heart to ask for some medi, some sweet Hubs-kisses and head rub. I suffered in bed, tossing and turning until I finally could take it no longer and got up at 6:50am.

2) The Panther. I love you, kitty, but you get under my feet. And, as mommy came stumbling out of her bedroom this morning, you tripped her up 3 times! Then, you gnawed on the tape that holds up our door insulation. You know, the tape that you always eat and then throw up. And then, you situated yourself directly under the step taken by my right foot as I stepped away from the coffee maker with hot, hot coffee in hand. You screeched. I burned myself. I love you, Panther, but you annoyed me this morning.

3) I couldn't wait to get up and finish watching Julie&Julia this morning. I started it last night with Hubs, who had to go to bed without finishing it. I just had to go with him. However, when I went to finish it this morning, the batteries that we use with both remotes (you know, loading and unloading them for whichever remote we need then) would not work in the TV remote, and alas, I could not turn the TV to Input 1. Uggghhh. So much for that.

4) Its raining. Well, big surprise. I hate Columbia. When it rains.

5) Its cold. Miserably cold. I think that I will actually be able to handle WV. At least, it will be cold with snow that you can brush off of you without getting too wet. But rain and cold. I just can't take it anymore!

Now, the things that make me happy in the hopes that this day will not be a complete disaster.

1) Hubs. He rocks my world.

2) The thick wool socks that my mom gave me for Christmas.

3) The space heater.

4) Aunt Gerry's salty sourdough bread that is the BEST breakfast ever.

5) Thick lotion.

Here's to a very annoyed morning turning into a GREAT day!

What's your brand?

On the Today Show this morning, they had a marketing executive talking about the importance of branding yourself. He pointed out Donald Trump, who puts his name on everything that he owns. Then, he mentioned Martha Stewart and her perfect empire of sheets, towels, crafts and cooking demos.

And, then he discussed his own brand, which was marked by a business card with a dog-eared corner, inspired by the fans, who brought dog-eared copies of his books for his autograph. He even dog-ears his letterheads.

Crazy, but unique. I would remember it.

It got me thinking about my brand.

I am in the perfect position to begin creating my brand and marketing it. I am not technically an employee of Historic Columbia Foundation. I function there as an intern at times, and then as a contract researcher, where I essentially hire myself out to patrons, who come to them for research.

But, what would my brand be?

As all of my friends know, I am slightly obsessed with bird decor. (I received at least 4 Christmas presents pertaining to birds.) But, a symbol of a bird has really nothing to do with historic preservation and research.

My one true love of historic preservation is old buildings. I think then that my brand would have to be an old building or building materials. Maybe, I will begin the creation of my brand tonight. I can utilize Will's photoshop skills and come up with something extraordinary.

I will keep you all posted.

What's your brand?

At home

There's nothing like a Tuesday night, at-home facial. Presently, I sit perched on the edge of the couch, with the Panther lounging closely to my right and dried yogurt, honey and granola plastered on my face. 

Yes, folks, it is beauty time.

I am a bit fanatic about my skin.

I moisturize daily. And, by moisturize, I mean that I slather on two and sometimes three very thick coats of lotion on my face and one pasty layer over the rest of me every morning after my shower.

I use a special skin firming cream around my eyes. Which I apply with my ring fingers. And rub from the outside corners inward. Always. Never the other way, or WRINKLES. Aaah!

Whenever Will, being the generous, sweet, kind, incredibly loving Hubs that he is, gives me a facial rub to alleviate some of the pain from my sinuses, I always gently scold him:

Not around my eyes, babe! You'll give me wrinkles!

Sometimes, when Hubs is feeling cheeky, he will pull the skin on my face in opposing directions in an effort to contort my features. To which I again will gently scold:

Babe! Don't pull my skin! You're going to give me wrinkles! Do you want a wrinkly, old wife?

Whenever Griffin tries to yank my nose off my face or pull my eyes out with his little baby fingers, I always take his hand and, forehead to forehead, ask him in my most convincing baby voice:

Gwiffin, do you want Aunt Beezy to have wrinkles and have Unkie Wiw weave me for somebody younger and hotter and less wrinkly in a few years?

So tonight, after a rejuvenating scrub of sugar crystals in the shower, and a steam bath under a thick towel while poised over a steaming pot of water, and a thick slathering of homemade skin mask, I think that my skin will be ready for a new day.

Will you?